Tonight I have to make people laugh? I’ve been devastated all day. Learning about individuals who I had grown up with that had kids in the school. They made it out. Thank God. But 20 did not. It just makes me absolutely come to terms that this can happen anywhere at anytime. We are at a place where children have to walk our world like a defensive driver… with their little innocent heads low. I’ve been thinking of my nieces, nephews, Godsons and every child of a friend that calls me Uncle Peej. If I learned today they where taken from us… Honestly I get beyond choked up. I have dealt with war since I was 18 years old. This today is something different. The inconceivable notion that true innocence has become a target? Breaks my f*cking heart! I will do my job. I feel odd about it. I feel fortunate my family, friends, friends of friends are alive and healthy tonight. If I could hold them I don’t think I would let go… But we have to. That is what I find hard to accept right now. I will go disappear in the blanket of laughter for a bit. It has always been a healing place for me. I feel odd but am happy to have it tonight. My heart is, will and continues to be with every parent feeling unbearable pain tonight. It could be any one of us.